


Love is a funny thing

by insufferablelovebirds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Future Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-19 19:30:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9457349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insufferablelovebirds/pseuds/insufferablelovebirds
Summary: “I promise you I’m not joking Lou.”“What do you remember?” Louis asked all business, eyes darting around Harry’s face, worry written across his own.“We had a fight and you walked out.”“We haven’t had a fight like that since the twins were born.” Louis murmured. “Give me your hands.”Harry untangled them from the sheet and held them out, Louis’ fingers went right to his left hand.“Your wedding band is missing.” he turned over his arms. “And the tattoos for the kids- what the fuck.”Harry shook his head, rubbing his face.“How old are you?”“Twenty-two.”Louis looked devastated. “Harry… you’re twenty- eight.”or Harry needed a reminder it's all worth it in the end





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just really like conflict and resolve apparently  
> idk if this technically counts as time travel but I tagged it anyway.  
> unbeta'd as usual 
> 
> title from Jason Mraz's "Love Someone"  
> hope you enjoy :)  
> *I have no ties to anyone this fic characterizes, I don't know or pretend to know them in the slightest, this is a work of complete fiction and is intended to only be seen by the fandom. *

 Harry sighed running his hands through his hair as the door slammed shut.  
It had been years since they fought like this, they’re a team- them against the world- unfortunately being a team meant they knew each other's buttons and just how to push them. Harry wanted to put his head through the wall, the argument was his fault.  
He’d poked and prodded until he crossed the line, he knew when he had too, the way Louis body went absolutely still, his jaw clenching before he turned around and started in on him, Harry pushing back just as hard until they were standing across the room screaming to the point Louis turned on his heel and walked out.

He always did that, said his fill and was done, while Harry would let things simmer until he boiled over, outbursts he’d work out by running until his chest hurt or boxing until no amount of tape could keep him from whimpering as his knuckled set into a bag, or less often- picking an argument.  
He was an idiot he thought as he scooped up this phone, typing as much in a text to Louis.  
_I’m sorry, please be careful._  
Though their fights were far and few between it wouldn’t be the first time Louis spent the night with one of their friends after a fight, even if he wouldn’t respond to Harry’s text someone would let him know he was safe.  
Harry sighed again taking in the living room, the TV still playing the menu on loop, the bottle of wine they’d planned to drink sweating on the coffee table.  
They’d planned a nice night in, Louis had cooked and Harry had picked up the movie that they’d been waiting to see, all in all a relaxing night.  
Harry couldn’t even remember why he had been annoyed, wracking his brain as he put away the wine and finished cleaning up the dinner dishes, he had just pushed; it was probably work, it usually was, until Louis snapped.  
Regret bubbled in his stomach as he climbed the stairs leaving the lights on and stripped down to his boxers, swallowing thickly looking at the empty bed. He hated fighting, hated they were apart for anything more than work, especially right now with the heavy weight sitting firmly on Louis chest, the burden he’s been coerced into.  
Harry screamed into his pillow, finally collapsing into bed, ignoring how cold it was and how Louis would have either made him fill the hot water bottle to put by his feet or glued himself to Harry’s side, cold feet tucked between his ankles.

~~~

Harry gravitated to the warmth in bed, arm immediately seeking out the body next to him.  
“I’m so sorry baby, I didn’t mean anything I said.” he murmured sleepily, pressing his lips to Louis shoulder.  
Louis entwined their fingers on his stomach, tugging Harry closer.  
“I dunno what you did but I’m sure I’ve forgiven you by now.” Louis yawned.  
_Weird..._  
They always talked after a fight, they hated staying mad at each other, suddenly the bedroom door opened and something small and screaming landed near Harry’s head, another bouncing by his feet.  
“Papa! Daddy! Wake up!”  
_What._  
Louis groaned softly into his pillow before sitting up and catching a second screaming something and tickling them.  
The one by Harry’s head ripped up the sheet and gasped. “Papa your hair!”  
Harry blinked up at the red headed little girl squatting by his head, patting his hair.  
“What the hell Haz?” Louis asked pausing his tickling. “Did you just chop it all off after I fell asleep?”  
“What are you talking about?” Harry sat up, the little girl climbing into his lap. “It’s been months.”  
“Real funny.”  
“I’m being serious.” The little girl grabbed his cross and tugged on it.  
“Papa I’m hungry.”  
“Why are you calling me that?” he asked her.  
“You’re ma Papa silly!”  
“Harry are you okay?” Louis asked, looking over at him with a frown, the little boy he’d been tickling snug in his arms, his hair a shade lighter than Louis’.  
“No, why are Doris and Ernie here and what happened to his hair? He was blonde last week.”  
“Papa ‘m Stevie!” the little girl protested.  
Louis rolled his eyes. “Seriously that’s enough now H.”  
“I’m not joking.” Harry said pleadingly.  
Louis searched his face and frowned, he leaned over and set the little boy on the floor, the little girl jumping up to follow. “Go wake your sister and go ahead in the kitchen we’ll down in a minute, okay?”  
The two ran off with identical nods.  
“I promise you I’m not joking Lou.”  
“What do you remember?” Louis asked all business, eyes darting around Harry’s face, worry written across his own.  
“We had a fight and you walked out.”  
“We haven’t had a fight like that since the twins were born.” Louis murmured. “Give me your hands.”  
Harry untangled them from the sheet and held them out, Louis’ fingers went right to his left hand.  
“Your wedding band is missing.” he turned over his arms. “And the tattoos for the kids- what the fuck.”  
Harry shook his head, rubbing his face.  
“How old are you?”  
“Twenty-two.”  
Louis looked devastated. “Harry… you’re twenty- eight.”  
There was a crash from downstairs.  
“It’s fine!” a voice yelled.  
“I have to take care of the kids.” Louis said shakily standing from the bed and slipping into a shirt. “Lottie will be picking them up soon and… we’ll figure this out.”  
“Let me help, I can cook at least.”  
Louis rubbed the back of his neck. “You have to act natural, I don’t want them scared, ‘cause this is fucking weird.”  
Harry nodded, eager to not feel helpless, he climbed out of bed, the chill hitting in the air making him shiver.  
“This isn’t L.A.” he murmured.  
“No.” Louis said softly, watching him a moment, half out the door. “It’s not.”

  
The kitchen was bustling as Harry walked in, Louis setting tea to brew, the coffeepot bubbling behind him, three kids sat at the island, the little boy mashing strawberries with a plastic knife while an older girl brushed little Stevie’s hair, plaiting it neatly before turning around.  
“What happened?” she asked wide eyes looking at Harry.  
“Um-”  
“Papa wanted a change.” Louis saved him. “The twins have requested pancakes for their birthday breakfast.”  
Harry gave a him a quick smile moving towards the stove. “Pancakes I can do.”  
“Are you feeling alright?” the older girl asked watching him poke through the cupboards to find the ingredients.  
“He felt poorly in the middle of the night and took a cold pill.” Louis said offhandedly sipping his tea. “You know those make him weird.”  
“Always have.” Harry added, finally starting to mix the batter. It was methodical, cooking, he felt himself relax slightly as he measured, poured and flipped the pancakes, sliding full plates onto the counter.  
“How many pancakes?” Louis asked the twins in a soft voice helping scoop the strawberries up.  
“Four!”  
“That’s right!” Louis praised, tapping the boy on the nose. “Just like you.”  
Harry sat next to the older girl as Louis wrangled the twins, a routine clear in their actions.  
“Are you excited to hang out Lottie today?” he asked, pouring juice for her. Louis gave him a grateful smile.  
“Yes!” the twins yelled.  
“Indoor voice.” Harry chided automatically.  
“Speaking of which, Sabine take off that lipstick before you leave this house.”  
“But dad-”  
“Nope, you’re thirteen and going to the zoo not a premiere.” Louis said with a pointed look.  
“Maybe a lighter color?” Harry suggests, trying not to cross the invisible line that Louis has.  
Louis nods as he chews. “Very light and you’ve got a deal.”  
“Okay.” Sabine sighs, already wiping off the dark color.  
“Where are my nieces and nephew?” Lottie shouted from the front door, she bounced into the kitchen kissing the kids on the heads and going straight for the coffee pot, tossing long purple hair over her shoulder. “Oh my god what did you do H?”  
“Is it really that big of a deal?” Harry asked testily, swallowing down a burning mouthful of coffee.  
Lottie held out her hands in defense. “You said you were never going to cut it that short again and you’d been maintaining it for a while, it’s just a surprise.”  
“Sorry,” Harry said, guilt licking at his chest. “I’m just not feeling like myself today.”  
She gave him a one armed hug as Sabine ran upstairs to put on her shoes, dropping her plate in the sink and kissing Louis’ cheek.  
“You sure you’re alright?” Lottie asked, slipping into the empty seat, her eyes darted over him as critically as Louis’ had.  
“I’ll explain later.” Louis said softly helping the twins down from the island, “Go get your shoes okay?”  
One ran towards the stairs the other into the living room.  
“Is everything okay?”  
“I’m not sure.” Louis replied just as Harry followed them.  
Louis leaned against the door, head to the wood as Lottie pulled out, the twins successfully rounded up and buckled into their booster seats, Sabine claiming the front with a fresh coat of pink lipstick, kisses had been given easily, though settled wrongly in Harry’s stomach- he didn’t know this life.  
“Is that a daily thing?” Harry asked with a soft chuckle.  
Louis lifted his head groggily. “We have a nanny during the week, usually we have them during the weekend but the twin’s birthday is today so Lottie offered to take them so we could get ready for tea.”  
He looked exhausted and Harry found himself wrapping him into his arms before he could question it, it was Louis after all.  
“Are you okay?”  
Louis hummed wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist. “Is this weird? For you?”  
“Nah, you’re still Lou.”  
He felt Louis smile against his chest.  
“I’m fine I just got back from New York a few days ago and we’ve been stressing about the twin’s birthday and now...this.” he stepped back and swept his eyes across Harry again.  
“And you smell different.” he added. “I’d almost forgotten it.”  
“Is that a bad thing?” Harry asked following him back into the kitchen. “You’re awfully calm.”  
“Not bad,” Louis said finishing the rest of the strawberries. “You’ve had a baby soap smell underneath your natural smell for the last four years now, going back to just you and your cologne is different.” shrugged, “I dunno after everything it’s not like, the weirdest thing to happen to us- okay maybe it is- but we’ll figure it out.”  
“Fair enough.” Harry smiled, cleaning up the dishes. “What’s going to happen though? I mean this life is ...so different than what I know.”  
Louis tapped his fingers on the counter top. “I guess wait and see? I don’t know what else there is to do.”  
Louis fell silent as Harry washed dishes.  
“The twins.” he asked finally, drying his hands and turning around, Louis glanced up from his phone. “They’re yours? Biologically.”  
Louis smile was quick. “What gave them away?”  
“Everything.”  
Louis laughed, tucking his feet up on the chair as Harry rounded the island to sit next to him.  
“We tried for ages with different surrogates, different plans, but it never stuck. We met Sebby by chance and she... just bonded to you immediately, wouldn’t leave your side- I was sort of jealous to be honest- of course we filed to adopt her and two weeks later we found out about the twins.  
We didn’t find out which of us was the donor until they were born, and well…”  
“They’re you in every way.”  
Louis flushed, ducking his head. “Stevie took all the wild genes and left the quiet ones for Harrison.”  
“Two halves coming from a great person.”  
Louis rolled his eyes and stood. “Here I was thinking you’ve gotten worse with age. I have to go pick up some stuff will you be okay here?”  
“Yeah, I think so.”  
Louis watched him from the doorway and nodded with a sad smile before leaving, footsteps soft on the stairs.  
Harry wondered through the house, picking up random toys that seemed to gather in corners, it was just like he’d always imagined their future home to be like: lived in, warm, settled.  
Framed pictures claimed a wall in the sitting room, dark stained wood against the pale yellow wall; pictures of the three kids cuddled on the couch laughing at the camera, Louis with the twins as babies on his lap at a piano, Harry- his hair brushing his shoulders- in a rocking chair smiling softly at the bundle of baby in his arms. He couldn’t help the intake of breath as he came upon one of just he and Louis, collared shirts untucked and wrinkled standing on the outskirts of a party, pinkies linked.  
“That’s your favorite from our wedding.” Louis said coming up behind him, tugging a beanie on.  
“It’s beautiful.” Harry whispered, he touched the frame of one of Louis grinning at the camera with Sabine, holding up a huge sand dollar, cheeks sunburnt. “And this one.”  
“You took that.” Harry glanced over to him and Louis looked away.  
“I’ll be back, I just have to get the food for the twins and pick up something from the office.”  
“I feel like I should help somehow.” Harry said with a shrug.  
Louis smiled, slipping into his shoes and grabbing a set of keys off the table by the door. “You can tidy up, There’s not much to do actually, tomorrow it’ll be a mess with the kids home all day, which is probably good for you to settle, unless.” he paused, focusing on his keys. “Unless you want to go to a hotel.”  
“God no.” Harry said quickly, relieved as the tension in Louis shoulders loosened slightly. “I just, don’t want to cross any boundaries.”  
Louis bit his lip and looked away. “This is your life Harry.”  
It was rare for Louis to show insecurity like this, quiet and unsettled. Since they’d met he’d had a confidence that bewitched Harry, he filled up a room with his persona shining a light and bringing out the best in people, sending butterflies into flight with a single smile.  
He wasn’t afraid to be emotional, he never had been tearing up at movies, the first time he’d held his little brother, the first time _Harry_ had held his little brother, seeing his sisters grow, admitting he missed his mother, but the quiet insecurity that laced his words, that was spelled out in the tension of his back, only a few people could see.  
Harry had only see it a few times in the six years they’d been together and he itched to take him in his arms and smooth it out.  
“ _I_ don’t know it. “  
Louis nodded and opened the door with a nod, pointedly not looking him in the eye. “Be back soon.”

  
Harry found himself back at the pictures, it was clear the kids were one of the most important things in their lives, ones with Harry teaching Sabine to play guitar, the twins in diapers sleeping on his naked chest on the couch, Louis asleep in bed the kids on either side, filling the bed. Their relationship another, pictures throughout the years stood scattered, ones taken by others as they lay absorbed with each other backstage on various tours.  
“No way.” Harry murmured touching the edge of a frame that held the four boys sat on a stage, it was fairly recent Sabine and the twins wrapped up in his and Louis laps, Liam had a full beard laid out next to Niall who -most surprisingly- had a little girl clinging to his leg. They were all smiling brightly at the camera a rehearsal obviously finished. Others of the four of them clustered around, arms around each other’s shoulders ( or on a few occasions on each other’s laps) some old some seemingly newer, family pictures of all of them, all of them holding an undeniable intimacy .  
                                                                                                                               ~~~  
  
“Mate, that is wicked weird.” Liam said tilting his head and finishing off his beer. He had an ear full of metal hoops and Harry wanted to tease him.  
Harry paused wrapping up the leftover cupcakes to stare at him.  
“Just sayin’”  
“Do I really look that differently now?”  
“Yeah, you’re aging horribly.” Gemma said prancing in to refill her wine glass. She had taken it in stride immediately turning to explain to the rest of the family with a smile so as not to upset the little ones. Harry’s heart grew a little for her in that moment.  
“I can always count on you for a complement.” Harry rolled his eyes, sliding the plate into the fridge.  
She winked from the doorway. “Big sister duty.”  
“How are you doing though?” Niall asked from his perch on the counter.  
Harry shrugged. “I’m not sure..I feel like I’m invading.”  
“It’s your house.” Liam pointed out.  
Harry sighed, running his hands over his face. “It doesn’t feel like it. I just don’t understand why I’m here.”  
Liam rubbed his back. “Maybe it’s one of those life lesson things.”  
“What am I supposed to be learning? Li what’s out there, “ he gestured to the sitting room where Louis was currently sitting chatting with both their families while the twins and Niall’s daughter played with Sabine. “Is everything I could hope for in the future, what am I learning?”  
Liam frowned, “H, the year you’re from was really rough- obviously you know that-, especially on you and Lou.”  
“You talked about feeling helpless a lot.” Niall added. “Because there was nothing you could do for Lou.”  
Liam nodded. “Maybe you’re supposed to see that everything will be okay? Like you said it’s everything you could want, maybe you needed a reminder to not give up.”  
Harry nodded as Harrison ran in clinging to his leg.  
“Papa, I’m sleepy.”  
Harry carded a hand through his hair. “Okay buddy.”  
“Come on bug.” Louis said coming in with a sleepy Stevie. “We’re all tuckered out aren’t we?”  
“I want Papa.” Harrison pouted.  
“I can do it.” Harry said picking up Harrison, putting him on his hip and reaching out for Stevie. “You relax.”  
Louis handed her over, eyes going soft as she buried her face in Harry’s neck.  
“You just don’t want to see the parents out.” he teased, the joke falling short.  
Harry gave him a smile and started climbing the stairs.  
“So what do we do first?” he asked them. “Do we wash our faces first?”  
“No silly Papa, jammas.” Stevie replied sleepily.  
“Jamma’s of course quite silly of me.” he said struggling to open their bedroom door, finally he managed it and stepped in, setting them down between the twin beds along the walls.  
Harrison made a beeline for a stuffed fish sitting on his bed while Stevie wiggled her toes in the push rug.  
“What jamma’s do you guys want?” Harry asked opening a drawer.  
“Supergirl.” Stevie said doing a somersault and ending up at Harry’s feet. “Hi.”  
“Hi.” he smiled down at her handing her a nightgown. “Here you go.”  
“Ta.” she said putting it in her mouth and crawling towards the bathroom.  
Harry turned back to Harrison finding him almost asleep on his bed, he knelt down next to him, shaking his lightly. “Hey buddy you’ve got to change first.”  
“Sleepy Pa.”  
“I know, little one but come, sit up.” Harry urged him to sit up and pull off his shirt.  
“Fishies please.” Harrison yawned, hugging his stuffed fish to his chest.  
Harry rifled through the drawers to find the fish patterned shirt and pants, crawling back over and helping him into them. “There we go.”  
Harry picked him up carrying him across the hall to the bathroom where Stevie sat patiently on the closed toilet.  
“Face or teeth first?”  
Stevie bared her teeth.  
Harry chuckled handing over a toothbrush.  
“Papa mine’s green!”  
“So sorry.” Harry said handing over the right brush. “Now faces.”  
He smiled as they rubbed a wet washcloth over each other’s faces, patting them dry dramatically, remembering all the stories Jay had told him about Louis’ toddler theatrics.  
“Storytime now?” Harrison asked, tugging on Harry’s shirt.  
“Of course.” Harry let himself be led back to the twin’s room and was pulled down onto the carpet, Harrison pulled a book off the shelf at the end of his bed and settled down on Harry’s right side, head pillowed on his chest. Stevie settling on the other side, yawning into the push fur of a small rainbow bear, Harry bit back a laugh and opened the book.  
_“Chapter One, in which we are introduced to Winnie-The-Pooh and some bees and the stories begin.”_

  
“ _And Rabbit said-_ ” Harry paused seeing Louis in the doorway.  
“They’re out.” he whispered creeping quietly into the room, he knelt down and scooped up Stevie carrying her over to her bed, humming as she stirred. “Good night, my sweet.”  
Harry turned away carefully lifting Harrison into his own bed, he was hit with a pang of intrusion as Louis whispered to Stevie, turning on a night light that sent wave patterns on the walls.  
He swallowed thickly and kissed Harrison’s forehead, tucking him in and making sure his fish was safe in his arms.  
He retreated quickly as Louis moved over to Harrison to whisper his good-nights and descended to the kitchen quickly, taking the whisky from the cupboard above the fridge, pouring a generous amount into a glass and leaning on the counter.  
“Sebby’s still awake.” Louis said softly joining him, leaning against the fridge.  
“I’m intruding.”  
“This is your family Harry.”  
“I don’t know it!” Harry spun around. “You’ve got routines and ...everything’s so much.”  
Louis started to reply and was cut off by soft steps on the stairs.  
“Night.” Sabine said sticking her head around the corner.  
“Good night, lovely.” Louis said turning to press a kiss to her forehead. “Have happy dreams.”  
“You too.” she said with a smile.  
“Sleep well.” Harry added.  
Her smile lessened at the words but she nodded before turning and climbing the stairs.  
Louis took the drink out of Harry’s hand and finished it, setting the glass on the counter.  
“I don’t know what to tell you.” he said softly. “This is your future.”  
“And it’s everything I could want but I’m- I’m not here, I’m a twenty-two year old with a boyfriend of six years, not a father of three with a husband, I’m taking away from the twenty- eight year old man. I’ve never felt so out of my depth and I don’t know how to handle it.”  
Louis swallowed hard, not meeting Harry’s eye. “Honestly Harry, I wish I knew. _”_

 

  
The murmur in the kitchen woke Harry.  
It hadn’t been a conscious decision to sleep on the couch, he’d moved out there with another whisky after Louis had gone up to bed, the words they’d parted on didn’t seem welcoming to share his bed. Harry rolled his neck and stood, his back cracking loudly, shuffling out to the kitchen.  
“Morning.” Louis said eyes darting across Harry’s face.  
“Morning.”  
“Why’d you sleep on the couch?” Sabine asked stirring her cereal. “Are you and dad fighting?”  
“No.” Louis said leaning on the counter. “We’re not fighting -”  
“I was reading,” he directed at Louis, hoping he’d catch on. “You had a headache and I didn’t want to keep the light on so I read down here, must have fallen asleep, sorry babe.”  
Louis smiled softly at him. “Yeah. You know jet-lag always hits me hard at night.”  
Sabine shrugged and went back to her cereal.  
“Hurry up and finish, we’re leaving in a few minutes.”  
“All done Papa, down please.” Stevie said reaching for Harry.  
“Leaving?” Harry asked, lifting her down from the stood and watching as she ran towards the stairs, her striped tights sliding on on the floor.  
“We’re going christmas shopping of course.” Louis said taking Sabine’s bowl to rise as she passed.  
“Oh.” Harry said panic starting to settle in his chest. “Of course.”  
“Can I stay with Papa?” Harrison asked standing up on his stool.  
“Don’t stand on that please.” Louis clipped. “How are you going to find Papa the perfect present if you’re not with us?”  
Harrison nodded, considering. “Gotta be perfect. Down please.”  
Harry lifted him down with a smile. “Christmas shopping?”  
“No need to look like death, you took them last week when I was out of town and the rest of your shopping was done a month ago. We’re just getting a few last minute things, particularly for you.”  
“Am I that hard to shop for?” Harry asked taking Harrison’s seat, the tightness in his chest dissipating.  
Louis hummed, passing him a cup of coffee. “You ‘have everything you could want’ - I’m no better so I can’t blame you- it’s actually kind of annoying with the twins being older, Sebby was content just having a lay in with us and visit the family, but the twins are on a fairness kick.”  
Harry chuckled into his coffee as Louis finished a bowl of cereal. “We’re doing good? I mean, raising them, we’re doing good by them?”  
Louis face softened and Harry memorized it, of course he memorized every aspect of Louis face so this was no different, he had a certain softness for his family and for Harry, a different softness for his close friends, another for kids he worked with, but the softness he had for his children was unprecedented, it took over his whole face his eyes twinkling as though the very thought made his heart shine.  
“I think so, I mean everyone says so, but ...I think so. They’re loved and loving, giving and kind, so I think we’re doing okay.”  
Harry smiled. “I thought so, but I’m glad.”  
Louis looked away. “You think we’d raise monsters?”  
“Never, with you as their dad it’s impossible.”  
Louis chuckled, leaning over the counter. “Flattery gets you nowhere Styles.”  
“The truth is flattering.”  
Louis rolled his eyes as Sabine returned to the kitchen. “Where are the twins?”  
“They’re coming.” she said laying her head down on the counter.  
“You feel okay?” Harry asked automatically.  
“My throats scratchy.”  
“Oh, poor love.” Louis cooed, rounding the counter to feel her forehead. “You’re not warm.”  
“D’you want some lemon tea?”  
Sabine shook her head. “I’ll be okay.”  
“You’re going to bed early.” Louis told her as the twins pattered down the stairs. “Ready to go?”  
“Yes!” they bounced.  
“You haven’t got your shoes on you can’t go in just tights!”  
“We hop!” Stevie explained dissolving into giggles.  
Louis bit back a laugh. “You’re going to hop the whole time?”  
“Yes!”  
Louis shook his head. “Go put your shoes on.”  
“We’ll only be a few hours.” Louis told Harry, touching Sabine’s back as she followed the twins, pausing in the doorway watching them.  
Harry nodded. “Be careful and have fun.”  
Louis squeezed his bicep with a wink and followed Sabine. “Always.”

 

Harry sat on the edge of the bed after showering and stepping into threadbare sweats, he grabbed the phone on the bedside table, hoping as he typed out the passcode, that it would be the same.  
The home screen was Louis with the kids in a hammock smiling unabashedly at the camera. He ignored the missed messages ( he wouldn’t know how to answer anyway) to tap the Twitter icon, suddenly curious.  
He went straight to his profile, biting his lip as it loaded, his icon in color clearly from a new photo shoot, his bio now reading _‘father of three, husband, activist, raconteur’_ he shook his head in disbelief scrolling down through tweets ranging from teasing Niall about a new song and links to charities drives to questions about Louis and inquires about the kids. His Instagram was the same, full of pictures of the kids, Louis and their families. He scrolled down to the first picture of Sabine walking on the beach hand in hand with Louis _‘family_ ’ down to the first picture of the twins, sat in a laundry basket of towels with the caption _‘now (twin) baby sized.’_ he chuckled, scrolling down farther to a picture of him and Louis on a red carpet mid step, suits complementing, smiling at each other.  
It was blurry and not very high quality _‘glad to have you by my side’_ it was captioned, he swallowed, throat thick scrolling farther to the first picture of Louis alone, he wore a smile looking up at the camera finger marking his place in a book, it seemed to be outside a soft light coming from one side threw him into soft shadows, fairy lights twinkling in the background. _‘Lucky I’m in love with my best friend’_  
Harry blinked hard and shut off the phone,tossing it on the bed, he scrubbed at his face and stood restlessness itching in his bones, he tripped leaving the room and making his way to the kitchen.

                                                                                                                           ~~~

  
“I smell cookies!” a voice yelled the moment the front door opened, Stevie ran in bouncing to see the top of the counter. “Are those cookies?”  
“They are.” Harry said putting the last on the cooling rack, he picked up Stevie setting her on a stool. “I’ve got some frosting for you and brother and sister to decorate, sound like fun?”  
“A much lot.” she said nodding, eyes wide.  
“What are we doing?” Sabine asked peering in, Harrison on her hip and a gift bag in her free hand.  
“Cookie decorating, unless you’re too old to enjoy it.”  
“Impossible.” Sabine said setting the bag down and settling Harrison on a stool.  
“I thought so.” Harry said with a smile setting out sprinkles. “Go crazy.”  
“Brave words from the man that will have to clean up after them.” Louis said appearing in the doorway.  
“I don’t remember saying I’d be cleaning up.”  
“Smooth.” Louis chuckled. “But I did it last time, Sabine is my witness.”  
“It’s true.” she said not looking up from her cookie.  
Harry shook his head. “I see how it is.”  
Louis drifted back to the door, collecting the bags he’d set down.  
“Get everything you wanted?”  
Louis hummed, digging in one of the bags, “I even got the gift for that party we’re going to next weekend- or I’m going to since we promised.”  
“Why would you go alone?”  
Louis chuckled. “H you’ve done a lot - we both have - and you don’t know any of it.”  
“Yeah, like I've never bullshit my way through anything.”  
“You’re going to bullshit your way through almost six years? You’re good but not that good.”  
Louis made to pass him, arms full of bags, Harry stopped him with a touch. “I’m not going to let you feel alone, Lou.”  
Louis barely let his face drop before giving him a tight smile. “I’m not.”  
A crash sounded from the kitchen. _“Uh oh._ ”  
“Not a dull moment.” Louis murmured, passing Harry, his footsteps soft on the stairs.

The bowl was shattered icing painting the floor and the front of the fridge.  
“Sebby did it.” Steve said immediately, her sticky fingers tangling in Harrison’s hair.  
“Yes, I vaulted over to knock down the bowl, you caught me.” Sabine said with an eye roll.  
Harry stepped carefully around the glass shards. “Stevie did you knock it over?”  
Stevie played with the edge of her shirt. “Maybe.”  
“Was it an accident?”  
She nodded dejectedly, tucking her face to her chest.  
“You should know that lying isn’t okay, you wouldn't get in trouble for an accident.”  
“I know Papa.” she sighed. “‘M sorry. Sorry Sebby.”  
Sabine smiled in acknowledgment, wiping frosting off her fingers.  
“Hey monsters bathtime.” Louis said peeking around the corner.  
“No thank you.” Harrison said sucking icing off his fingers as Harry lifted him over the glass.  
“It’s a shame sticky little children don’t get to watch a film after dinner then.”  
Stevie clapped a hand over Harrison’s mouth, smearing blue icing. “Can we watch Grinch?”  
“Of course.” he said ushering them up the stairs.  
“Do you need help?” Sabine spun on her stool after he’d cleaned up the glass, watching him with wide eyes.  
Harry paused, trying to sense if it was a regular thing for them, she knew something was off with him, he could tell, she was accepting their excuses but assessing him.  
He was terrified of messing up.  
“I was just going to make some spaghetti, but you could handle the bread that was be great.”  
She nodded taking the offered loaf and knife. “Remember no meat in the sauce, please.”  
“No, of course not.” Harry said replacing the hamburger in the freezer.  
She watched him closely finishing the last slice of bread.  
“Thanks.” he flashed her a smile dumping in the pasta.  
“I’ll set the table as well, yeah?”  
“Great help, thanks.” Harry rubbed his face with a soft groan when she disappeared around the corner

  
After dinner Harry was drug into the living room from washing dishes with Louis, elbows bumping.  
“Daddy, Papa c’mon it’s Grinch time.” Harrison said tugging on their shirts.  
“We’ve been summoned.” Louis said drying his hands and scooping up Harrison, throwing him over his shoulder.  
The movie sat on the menu loop, Sabine was curled up on a chair a thick afghan on her lap. Stevie bouncing on the couch.  
“Little monkey is going to fall and bump her head.” Louis warned setting Harrison down.  
“No more jumping monkeys.” Harry said grabbing her mid jump and startling a giggle out of her, before settling on the couch.  
She tucked herself into Harry’s side linking her hand with Harrison’s as he snuggling in next to Louis.  
Harry spent most of the movie watching Louis, watching him murmur to Harrison to make him giggle, a hand constantly carding through his hair or still in between his own hands playing with his ring. At the halfway point Harrison crawled into Louis lap resting his head on Louis’ chest, blinks becoming slow, Louis glanced over and caught his eye and smiled jerking his head down slightly.  
Stevie had shifted to rest her head in Harry’s lap, eyes shut, lips parted, chest rising and falling slowly.  
“Can you get her?” Louis asked softly, standing slowly with Harrison.  
Harry nodded, carefully scooping her up.  
“Movie Pa.” she protested sleepily.  
“You can finish it tomorrow little one.”  
She gave a soft sigh and settled against Harry as he followed Louis upstairs and tucking her into her bed, Louis having the foresight to dress them in pajamas before the movie.  
“Sleep well.” Harry murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead, stepping aside so Louis could do the same.  
“Can you get Sebby into bed?” Louis asked shutting the twins door softly. “I’m going to shower.”  
“Yeah, no problem.” Harry said already making his way to the stairs.  
“And Harry?”  
Harry paused, watching as Louis stepped towards him, swallowing.  
“Don’t sleep on the couch tonight.”

  
Harry was trying to decipher _‘tell Lou!!!!’_ from a reminder on his phone when Louis stepped out of the bathroom, towel around his waist, another scrubbing at his hair.  
“Are we okay?” Harry blurt as he walked across the room to the dresser. “I mean our marriage.”  
“Why wouldn’t it be?” Louis glanced over his shoulder, dropping the towel from his hair and then the one from his waist.  
Harry couldn’t help scan the line of his body, his hair curling at the nape of his neck to the dimples at the base of his spine, just above the two small X’s tattooed on the swell of his ass.  
_“Get it?” he had said wickedly, line crackling from the distance. Stupid ocean. “X’s, got a list of people that can kiss me ass, I’m gonna send a snap to all of ‘em.”_  
_“I hope not literally.” Harry had replied sleepily. “I’m the only one that gets to see that close.”_  
_“Pfft you know you’re the only one that gets to touch.”_  
_“Damn right.”_  
“You’re tense around me.” Harry said with a shrug as Louis stepped into boxers, kicking his towels towards the bathroom.  
Louis was quiet as he sat on the bed, running a hand through his damp hair.  
“You looking like this ...brings- it brings a lot back.” he said finally. “It’s rough, that year was ...really fucking hard.”  
“I’m sorry.” Harry whispered as Louis slipped under the blankets, turning on his side to face Harry.  
“It’s not your fault, you did your best, we were both out of our depth.” Louis reached out to smooth the furrow between Harry’s eyebrows. “Have I started talking to someone?”  
Harry nodded, “Consistently for a year now.”  
“Good.” Louis murmured, watching Harry as he settled down onto the pillows. “Have you?”  
“I don’t-”  
“You do.” Louis interrupted. “You know you do, I’m not enough and that’s okay I won’t feel like a failure, you’re not disappointing anyone.”  
Harry buried his face in the pillow with a huff. “Are you good now?”  
“I’m really good.”  
Harry watched him, memorizing his face noting the subtle changes the years had made, his eyes falling to tattoos adorning his forearm.  
“What’s that?” he asked tracing the inked numbers.  
“The kids’ birth dates, you have it too.”  
“Yeah?” Harry murmured, moving on to trace the three stars on his shoulder.  
Louis tapped his arm mirroring the place on his own. “Here, you also have the coordinates of our wedding.” he traced a spot on his wrist.  
Harry traced the lighthouse on his bicep. “I’ve slowed down then?”  
“A bit, you got a new one just a few months ago.” Louis fingers moved to trace the empty space on his arm. “One of Harrison’s drawings.”  
“Really?”  
Louis hummed. “You were away filming for a solid month and flew back for a weekend, you told him you missed him too much so Harrison drew little stick figures on your arm of him, Stevie and Sebby when you fell asleep so you wouldn’t miss them.  
You almost missed your flight because you had stopped to get it done, didn’t find out you’d done it for two weeks until you finished and came home.”  
“Was he pleased?”  
“Over the moon, luckily it had healed because he couldn’t stop touching it, Stevie was the same with my fish.” he pointed to a crudely drawn line fish among the scattered ones on his arm.  
“They mean a lot to us.” Harry said softly.  
Louis nodded, hand falling from Harry’s arm to rest between them on the bed. “I’m pretty sure they’re the world actually.”

  
“Papa time to awake.” The little hand tapped his cheek. “Daddy time to awake.”  
“Baby we have two more hours you know that.” Louis groaned.  
“Oh no.” Stevie giggled as Louis wrapped her up in his arms.  
“Sleep a bit longer sweet dove.” Louis hummed.

The kids were dressed and sitting at the island when Harry woke and made his way down stairs.  
“Hey I was just about to wake you.” Louis said over the rim of his coffee cup.  
“You didn’t have to let me sleep.” Harry protested quietly. “You’re not alone in this.”  
Louis rolled his eyes. “H, it’s route, plus Luna’s here.”  
“I’m a right savoir.” a woman said briskly walking into the kitchen, she was shorter than Louis her hair bright blue, three backpacks on her arm. “Good job on breakfast now go brush your teeth or you’ll be late hop hop!”  
Sabine helped the twins down from the stools, following them upstairs.  
“Louis told me what’s going on, I’m Luna I help out with the kids. I’m taking them to school but you wanted to pick them up this week is that still true?” she said crisply, taking Harry’s hand in a firm shake, the bangles on her wrist clanking.  
“Um, yeah?”  
“Great.” she said. “I’ll add the coordinates to your GPS and I’ll text you a reminder to pick them up. Is there anything else you need me to do?”  
“Nope that’s it thank you so much Lu. Did you find that thing you were looking for?” Louis said touching her elbow.  
“I did.” she said gleefully. “I’m going to pick it up after I drop the kids off.”  
“That’s great.” Louis said with a warm smile. “Let us know if you need anything else.”  
“I will, thank you.”  
The kids came back down the twins latching onto Louis’ legs.  
“Always so dramatic.” Louis sighed picking up Harrison. “I’m going to be late for a meeting, kisses please.”  
Harrison kissed him on the nose and reached over for Harry, Stevie taking his place in Louis’ arms.  
“Daddy can we go work with you?”  
“I’m going to be in boring meetings little dove, it’s not fun work today.”  
Stevie pouted giving him a kiss and reached for Harry.  
“Bye, love you.” Louis said dropping a kiss to Sabine’s head as he passed.  
“Have a good day.” she said over her shoulder.  
Louis smiled in the doorway. “I will, love you.”  
“Wuv you!” The twins shouted.  
Luna smiled returning with their coats, Harry helped button them in, kissing their heads as he buckled them into Luna’s car.  
“Have a good day.” he told Sabine as she climbed into the car.  
“You too.” she said, kissing his cheek. “Don’t forget to pick us up.”  
Harry put a hand on his chest in mock outrage. “Have I ever forgotten?”  
She grinned and Harry shut the door, waving them out of the garage.

 

Harry had just finished the dishes when a knock sounded on the front door. He made his way warily, tossing the dish towel over his shoulder and opening it.  
“It’s bloody freezing out.” Liam said, shuffling in and shedding his layers.  
“Sorry?”  
Liam froze, realization dawning on his face. “Oh, shit you don’t know. I forgot.”  
“Forgot what?” Harry said leaning against the door.  
“We had plans to write today- well- write and decorate.”  
“Write?”  
“For the album. We didn’t have time while Louis was away and we’re behind where we wanted to be by now.”  
Harry shook his head. “Coffee?”  
“Please.”  
“So we’re writing for ...your album?” Harry asked sliding the steaming mug towards Liam.  
“The band.” Liam nodded, blowing on the mug. “We started after the tour ended but it was put on the back burner for awhile with Louis launching his line, your filming, my mini tour and Niall wanting time with Ariel.”  
“His daughter?”  
Liam hummed in agreement.  
Harry frowned down at his own coffee. “I have to ask how that happened.”  
Liam huffed out a laugh. “Well you know Niall’s arrangement?”  
Harry nodded, Niall’s various friends with benefits scattered across the globe, knowing about each other. It wasn’t uncommon in their line of work and while he would never scorn it, Harry could never see the appeal in casual sex, his pleasure in being monogamous and settled so young never failed to astound.  
“He never told us the full story- just texted in the middle of the night with ' _apparently I’m a dad now',_  right pain in the ass he is- anyway apparently he and one of his friends had a slip up, she didn’t really want to be pregnant but she also didn’t want to terminate so they worked it out, he paid for her doctors and got the baby. They still talk and Ariel sort of understands why they aren’t together.”  
Harry shook his head in disbelief. “I would never think Niall.”  
Liam laughed, “He was a right mess at first, they pretty much moved in with you and Lou for about two months, he didn’t want to tell his family until he could prove he could handle her, it’s all history now though, he’s a great dad.”  
“And you?”  
“I’m the cool uncle.” Liam said disappearing from the kitchen, Harry followed finding him digging in a closet. “Got the big house, the big dog and tons of sugar.”  
“What great fun.” Harry shook his head taking a box from Liam.

  
~

“How exactly.” Harry panted, climbing down the ladder, breath clouding in the cold air. “Was I possessed to do this when there are people for hire?”  
Liam’s laugh echoed around the yard. “You want the kids to have as normal a life as possible.”  
“But they wouldn’t have to know.” Harry protested folding up the ladder, the edges of the house successfully lined with twinkling lights. He’d only fallen off once.  
“You want what’s best for them.” Liam shrugged. “You and Lou decided early on you were going to keep them as aware of the wealth and privilege they have as possible.”  
“Yeah.” Harry murmured, they had talked about that, during one of the many talks of the future before the subject was brushed off the table and set away to an unknown date.  
“Was it hard? Starting a family.”  
Liam draped an arm over his shoulders. “You’d have to ask Lou. I know you two argued a bit and then it took so long.” Liam shrugged, starting to peel off his layers again.  
“What did we argue about?”  
Liam bit his lip, frowning at the ground. “H it’s not my place.”  
“Li, if you know-” Harry argued walking into the kitchen, pouring them each another cup of coffee.  
Liam sighed, running his hands across his face. “You didn’t think you were ready.”  
Harry felt a phantom punch to the sternum.  
Liam clutched his mug tightly. “Lou was but you...didn’t think you were. It took a few months for you to come around and you had trouble with the surrogacy it was just life really, it wasn’t anything. Then you met Sebby and everything else just fell into place.”  
Harry nodded stiffly, his stomach rising to his throat as he thought about how children hadn’t been on his mind for months now, that his dreams oftentimes filled with babies with Louis’ eyes had been void for over a year, that the idea would curl unpleasantly in his chest. He’d spent the last year focusing on Louis and how to ease his stress, take it one day at a time like they’d been told that he stopped thinking about their future.  
“Thank you,” he murmured finally. “for helping with the decorations.”  
“Not a problem.” Liam said warmly, “No offense but no way you’d have gotten that tree in yourself.”  
Harry’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s a bit much isn’t it?”  
“Nah, the twins are old enough to understand it now.” Liam said finishing off his coffee. “I should go, you’ve got to get the kids. I’ll see you at the Christmas party?”  
“Lou said something about one.”  
“Yeah it’ll be fun.”

~

  
Harry replayed the last few months over in his head as he drove, hands automatically following the directions the GPS called out. All the times he’d avoided seeing friends kids, brushing off dinners without checking with Louis, side stepping conversations with curious cast mates during filming.  
He swallowed thickly remembering that first serious conversation they’d had, tangled up in each other.  
“ _No less than three for me.” Louis had said stretching and tangling his fingers back into Harry’s hair. “I’m used to a full house, I love the chaos of it.”_  
_“Me too.” Harry whispered, still not fully believing he had such an amazing person that just seemed to fit him was in his bed._  
_Louis had huffed out a laugh. “You’d say that about anything I said, I could say I wanted to adopt a llama and you’d agree.”_  
_He was joking but there’d been an undertone to it, a seriousness he wanted Harry to pick up on._  
_“Not true,” Harry said rolling over on top of Louis arms cushioning his chin. “We couldn’t fit a llama in the flat. They need a field to run in, it wouldn’t be fair.”_  
_Louis rolled his eyes, throwing an arm across them._  
_“But I am serious, I’ve always wanted a big family.”_  
_Louis peeked out from under his arm. “Yeah?”_  
_Harry nodded._  
_“A baby every few years until it’s silly?”_  
_Harry sat up on Louis’ thighs, place a hand over Louis’ heart. “It would be an honor to have your babies.”_  
_Louis blinked a moment and let out a room filling cackle, flipping him over and tickling him until tears streamed down both their faces._  
_“I can’t wait to raise babies with you.” Louis had whispered pressing a kiss to his nose, cheeks still flushed with laughter._  
Harry coughed to clear his throat as he pulled up to the school, It was picturesque private school, neatly trimmed lawn and clear walk ways, parents milling about chatting, kids talking in pairs as they walked, Sabine sat on the edge of the sidewalk, book open in her lap. Harry took a breath and climbed out of the car.  
“Hey, have a good day?” he asked crouching in front of her.  
Her eyes flicker up, she held up a finger and read to the end of the page, dog earring it and snapping it shut.  
“It’s school.” she said matter-of-fact climbing to her feet. “How good can it be?”  
“Oh, that can’t be true.” Harry said following her to the car, holding her backpack while she climbed in.  
Sabine raised her eyebrows.  
“Okay, maybe it can.”  
She bit back a smile, taking her backpack and closing the door.

  
The twins squealed upon seeing the Christmas tree running over to it and sticking their heads in to look at the lights Liam had the foresight to string up and turn on.  
“Are we going to decorate without dad?” Sabine frowned.  
“Of course not.” Harry said scooping the twins up to take off their coats. “We’ll do it after dinner, are you hungry?”  
The twins ran to the kitchen climbing onto the stools.  
“That’s a yes.” Sabine said following them.  
Harry’s chest ached as he cooked, the twins snacked on crackers and cheese, crayons rolling across the counter, Sabine wrote steadily eyes flickering to an open textbook, it was normal, it was settled, it was everything Harry wanted.  
The front door opened, the sound of shoes being kicked off with a _“I’m home!”_  
“Daddy!” Stevie squealed climbing down, running towards Louis and jumping into his arms.  
“Hello love bug.” he said warmly, cuddling her to his chest. “How was school?”  
Sabine shrugged finishing her writing as he kissed her head before praising the picture Harrison colored.  
“How was work?” Harry asked, taking the casserole from the oven.  
“Good.” Louis said, he leaned towards Harry and hesitated a moment before dropping a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Meetings, listened to some demos, not sure if they’re right for us but we’ll see after the holidays.”  
“Ooh can I hear?” Sabine asked stacking up her work.  
Louis smiled. “After dinner, I’ll send them to you but no posting.”  
Sabine flushed. “That was once!”  
Louis chuckled setting Stevie on the floor. “Get your brother and go wash your hands.”  
“The decorations look good H.” Louis said once the kids left, pulling out plates and pouring juice. “The lights are really nice .”  
“Thanks.” Harry said ducking his head, face flushing automatically. “Liam helped.”  
Louis hummed around his beer. “I forgot he was coming over. I’d ask if you got any writing done but..”  
“Yeah.” Harry murmured. “We talked about the kids.”  
“Your favorite topic.” Louis flashed him a smile.  
“How we fought about having them.”  
Louis paused, looking up at him. “It was years ago.”  
“We _fought_ about having kids Lou.” Harry frowned at the crack in his voice.  
Louis sighed, sitting down across from Harry. “You worried. That’s all. We fought because I wanted to go without pausing and you realized we needed a breath- _desperately._      It wasn’t something we could just do, we really weren’t ready we wouldn’t have been able to raise them the way we have if we hadn’t, it took a few months of failing with surrogates to realize that. I’m grateful- you too I think- we waited.”  
“That’s my biggest worry.” Harry said softly, after turning over what Louis had said. “That I won’t love them like they deserve, that it’ll feel tainted.”  
Louis reached over the island to grip Harry’s wrist, squeezing it lightly. “You love them unconditionally, H. Whatever you’re thinking right now is wrong.”  
Harry bit his lip and nodded, turning his hand over and squeezing Louis’ as a giggle was heard from the stairs.

  
“Sebby you’re bundled up how can you still be cold?” Louis asked as Sabine pulled the throw off the back of the chair she was tucked into and wrapped it around herself.  
“I’m a lizard, my core temperature is very low.”  
Louis rolled his eyes and stood, setting Harrison into his seat, he immediately leaned over to the book Stevie had open on her lap demanding Harry read from.  
“Who’s that?”  
“That is Freddie Mercury.”  
“He had kitty cats!” Stevie said proudly, flipping the page and pointing.  
Harry smiled. “He did have kitty cats, you’re right, he was very cool.”  
“You’ve got a temperature.” Louis said feeling Sabine’s forehead. “I’ll make you some tea?”  
She nodded and Stevie pointed to another picture.  
“That’s Stevie Nicks.”  
“Like my name!”  
“Exactly like your name.”  
Stevie snapped the book shut, “‘Nother please Papa.”  
Harry stood and flipped her over his shoulder while she squealed with laughter, carrying the book back to the shelf.  
“Hello little spider girl.” Louis said pausing, a cup of tea cradled in his hands.  
“Hello Da.”  
“Are you going to fight crime or read a story?”  
“No crime I’m sleepy.”  
Louis laughed. “Good choice it’s never good to fight crime when you’re sleepy.”  
Harry held her in front of the bookcase, once she’d chosen he flipped her upright and returned to their place on the couch.  
“What book did you pick?” Louis asked, Harrison playing with his wedding band.  
“Pictures!” Stevie said flipping it open. “That’s me.”  
Harry tilted the album to read the writing on the Polaroid. “Stevie Jo, two weeks old.”  
“You were just a little thing.” Louis cooed scooting closer. “What happened, we need a refund.”  
“‘M a big girl.” Stevie pouted.  
Louis dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “You are a big girl.”  
Harry watched the interaction with a small smile, eyes flickering back to the book as Stevie flipped through.  
“Is that me?” she asked pointing to picture of Harry holding a tiny bundle of blankets, it was low quality but the smile directed at the bundle and tear tracks on his face were clear.  
Louis squinted at the book. “Nope that’s your Papa and Harrison.”  
“Did you cry when I was borned?” Stevie demanded snapping the book shut.  
Harry bit back a laugh as she scrunched up her face.  
“We had a crying match, obviously, we were worn out by the time we saw Harrison.”  
“Why’d you cry?” Harrison spoke up.  
Louis sighed, brushing his hair away from his face. “Well we’d waited ages and ages for you and it turned out you were pretty scary-”  
“Daddy.” Stevie warned turning on Harry’s lap to glare.  
Louis chuckled and caught Harry’s eye, “We cried because you two were the most beautiful babies ever in the whole world and we got to keep you! We had each other and Sebby and then you two came and completed our little family.”  
“It gets worse every time you tell it.” Sabine said from her blanket cocoon.  
“Oh shall I tell the story of meeting you? I haven’t done that in a while, you were so-”  
“I have reading I have to do immediately.” Sabine said scrambling up, rounding the couch and kissing their cheeks. “Good night, love you.”  
“Love you.” Louis laughed, swatting at her as she passed.  
Harry ruffled her hair as she kissed his cheek. “Sleep well.”  
“Hey munchkin.” Louis said rubbing Harrison’s cheek as his blinks became slower. “Why don’t you go brush your teeth? We’ll be there in a sec to tuck you in.”  
Harrison nodded, rubbing his eyes as Louis set him on the floor, Stevie following and gripping his hand.  
“They’re adorable.” Harry said watching them pausing to yawn as they climbed the stairs.  
Louis watched them until the got to the top, disappearing down the hall. “They really are, almost a shame we don’t show their faces often, they’d charm the world...then again perhaps they’re too powerful.”  
“We don’t post them? But-”  
“We don’t post the twins faces,” Louis clarified. “Sebby’s old enough to decide if she wants to be public - her accounts stay private though- she’s gone to a few events with us.”  
Harry nodded, going back to the album flipping through the pages, spotting a familiar tattooed hand “Hang on... is that Zayn?”  
Louis hummed, glancing at the picture before standing up and stretching. “Yeah he came to their second birthday.”  
“You’ve made up with him?”  
Louis paused at the stairs as Harry put away the album. “Made up, cease fire whatever you want to call it.”  
“I feel like there’s a story.” Harry said falling in step with Louis as they climbed the stairs.  
Louis snickered as they entered the twins room, Harrison was eagle spread on top of his blankets, Stevie curled up like a cat on her pillow.  
“You get Harrison, I’ll get Stevie?” Louis sighed with a touch to Harry’s hip.  
Louis’ soft murmurs filled the room as Harry maneuvered Harrison under his blankets, making sure to tuck his fish under with him and pressed a kiss to his forehead, heart clenching at the murmured _Na-Night Papa._

“He had a health scare a few years ago.” Louis said closing the door softly, as they made their way back down stairs.  
“He’s fine, just a scare but nobody knew until it was all over online - you saw it actually, late flight- and I called him at like four in the morning and just let him have it.”  
“Sounds like you.” Harry said pouring him a drink.  
Louis tipped it towards him with a nod.  
“Anyway we just kind of, ” he shrugged. “We’re not good but we talk, he came to see the twins, his family has invited Sebby to hang out with them a few times. He’s nervous about the baby so he’s been asking for advice, but we’ll never be back where we were.”  
“Baby?”  
Louis hummed. “Maybe two months and he’ll be a dad, he’s thrilled.”  
“I’m not sure if I’m happy or not.” Harry mused, leaning back on the counter. “I always felt like I was in competition for your attention when you two would go off to make trouble.”  
“You never thought I did that on purpose? Honestly I’m disappointed.”  
“Just because I knew doesn’t mean I wasn’t jealous.”  
Louis laughed, leaning back against the fridge. “You’ve said the exact same thing before.”  
“Good to know I’m me.”

  
~~~

The next few days passed the same and Harry settled into a routine, he suspected Louis didn’t want him alone all day because Liam and Niall ( with Ariel, too young for school just yet, in tow) would show up shortly after the kids were bustled off the school, distracting him until it was time to pick up the kids.  
Wednesday he was pulling into the parking lot of Sabine’s school when his phone rang, he answered it absently while putting the car in park.  
“H, did you hear me?” Louis repeated.  
“Sorry, parking what’s up?”  
“There’s a lot of stuff I have to finish before the weekend so I’m going to be really late, do you think you can get the kids in bed alone?”  
Harry ran a hand through his hair, frowning at the blue paint still wet at the back, Ariel swore she hadn’t. “Yeah I can handle them.”  
“You’re sure?” Louis asked, Harry could hear the rustle of papers in the background.  
“I’m pretty sure I can.”  
“Alright.” Louis said sounding skeptical.  
“You sound so confident.”  
“I have full confidence in you.” Louis sighed flatly.  
Harry laughed, “See you.”

Sabine stood by the doors of the school a stern looking woman standing with a hand on her shoulder behind her  
“Hello Mr. Styles.”  
“Hi,” he said shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat. He wagered a guess. “Is Sabine in trouble?”  
“Not per se.” the stern woman said. “I feel you ought to be informed that today your daughter shove a boy and told him to, pardon my language, fuck off.”  
“Did she now?” Harry said glancing at Sabine. “Was there reason?”  
“Yes, her classmates confirmed that the boy had been verbally harassing her for hours, as it was self defense and as harassment is strictly prohibited, she isn’t facing detention or marks aside from any form of punishment you choose.”  
“Right. Thank you for informing me.” Harry said putting an arm around Sabine’s shoulders and leading her to the car.  
“He’s been at me for weeks.” she said the moment Harry started the car. “The usual  taunts and I ignored him like you always told me but he started talking about you and dad and the twins and I….couldn’t anymore.”  
Harry was focused on driving when she sighed, leaning her head against the window. “You’re angry with me.”  
Harry glanced over at a light. “What makes you say that?”  
“You’re always quite like this when you’re angry with me.”  
“I’m not angry with you, I’m angry you had to deal with that at all, I’m upset you didn’t tell anyone but I could never be angry with you for defending yourself or your family.”  
“Really?” Sabine asked. “I’m not in trouble?”  
“I mean violence is never the answer.” Sabine rolled her eyes, cheeks flaming. “But I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself.”  
Sabine leaned over during a red light and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, placing a tacky strawberry scented kiss on his cheek.

  
“Hey.” Louis said softly as he passed the kitchen, climbing the stairs. He came back down a few minutes later dressed in loose sweats and one of Harry’s hoodies, smiling tiredly when Harry slid a plate of reheated take out towards him.  
“Ooh Thai, you’re a love, thanks.”  
“No problem, how was work?” Harry asked offering a beer.  
Louis shrugged taking the beer. “It’s all busy work right now, I’m itching to actually do something.”  
Harry slid into the seat next to him and woke his laptop, he’d asked Sebby to log him on while he dished out dinner, she’d given him a strange look before typing in the password.  
“What are you up to?”  
“I was just looking at stuff- us.”  
“Us?” Louis hummed, leaning forward. “Are we getting divorced this week?”  
Harry chuckled. “Does that happen often?”  
“Every few months.”  
“No, from last week it’s actually nice. _‘The family made a rare candid outing as Styles took their three kids ( younger children’s faces blurred for privacy) to gather Louis from the airport after a week spend across the pond promoting his new line.’”_  
“Mm, yeah they were getting restless.”  
Harry scrolled down pausing at a picture of an older version of himself slinging Louis’ duffel bag over his shoulder, while Louis hugged Sabine, the twins clinging to his legs.  
“It’s surreal.” Harry murmured looking at a picture of them sharing a kiss, Harrison resting on Louis’ hip, another had them waiting for the car with Harry’s arm slung over Louis shoulders, hugging him close to his body, Louis’ eyes closed and face tilted towards Harry’s chest.  
“It really seems that way sometimes.” Louis said softly. “It’s taken a long time to not expect to wake up to the past.”

 ~~~

  
It was nearing midnight and the party was edging on reckless, the room smelling strongly of liquor and cinnamon, random snippets of Christmas carols were being shouted out of tune.  
Louis had long taken off his blazer to reveal the sheer button up underneath and Harry was far too sober to be dealing with that, watching from the edges as he’s in his element, talking and laughing with an ever changing group of people.  
“You okay over here?” Liam asked settling next to him against the wall.  
“Define okay.”  
Liam chuckled into his glass.  
“You know I got out of a bad relationship a few years ago?”  
“I’m so sorry.” Harry said startling at the prompt.  
“No reason to be, it was my fault if anything.”  
Harry turned towards Liam, shoulder pressing into the wall. “Explain.”  
Liam smiled slightly. “You and Lou have been together since the dawn of time, now you have kids and you’ve said so many times how they’ve completed you, Niall has Ariel and it’s the two of them and I won most eligible bachelor for the third year in a row.  
“I dunno, I guess I felt behind. At the time you and Lou had just gotten married and Niall was learning he was becoming a dad and I felt stuck.” he shrugged. “We’d only been together a few months but I was going to propose- I’m not even sure I was in love anymore, probably in love with being in a relationship- but remember I said you and Lou fought before the twins?”  
He waited for Harry’s nod.  
“Well Lou came to stay with me a few days after that big fight, really broken up about it- as were you- and, you know Ni and I don’t get details on your fights, not when they’re serious.”  
Harry nodded again, Liam and Niall knew so many details of their relationship, it never bothered he and Louis that they knew when they were having a spat over something small or had been taken in a bad mood, but when it came to big arguments over properties or money or work they tried to keep it to themselves or reaching out to their families, by no means hesitant to say they needed a third party to tell them to talk it out, but not wanting to burden them on top of their full schedules.  
“ Lou told me what was going on after half a bottle of Jack and he said something that I still haven’t forgotten, he said he had too much of you to be without you.”  
“Poetic.”  
“You know drunk Louis,” Liam laughed. “But the thing was you and I talked the next day and you said the same thing, word for word. And it.... just kind of hit me that I didn’t have that, I didn’t have something as encompassing as you guys have, you two have grown together have become so entwined and you love each other so deeply it physically pains you to fight and...it was just- I never had that connection to someone, I felt like I was planning a proposal to a stranger, that we were settling because we wanted something sturdy and it- it didn’t feel right.”   
Harry looked away, eyes automatically finding Louis again. “That whole encompassing thing probably isn’t healthy to be honest.”  
“Probably not but I’ll be damned if it’s not envious.”  
Harry chuckled, ducking his head and running his hands through it.  
“He’s my best friend.” he said softly. “Above all he’s that.”  
“He still is,” Liam said warmly. “Probably will be for the rest of your lives.”  
“It scares me sometimes to think we could lose that, that we’ll be together because it’s what we know. There are days I wake up and I still can’t believe I get to call him mine.”  
Liam chuckled squeezing Harry’s shoulder with his free hand. “And that, dear brother, is why you’ll never lose what you two have.”  
“What does who have?” Louis appeared out of the crowd and wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist, settling lightly against his side.  
“You’re beautiful.” Harry murmured without thinking.  
“I’m drunk.” Louis said dismissively.  
“I think I’ll go home.” Liam added, tossing back the rest of his drink. “Can’t keep my bed waiting.”  
“Mmm, bed sounds nice.” Louis murmured, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder.

  
“God it’s quiet.” Louis said, shedding his coat at the door. The kids had been picked up by Harry’s mother for the night early that afternoon.  
Harry nodded, having become accustomed to the babble of the twins or Sabine’s music playing softly in her room.  
Louis laughed as he toed off his shoes. “Usually we’d be desperate and upstairs by now.”  
“Don’t tell me our sex life suffering the one flaw in the future.” Harry groaned making his way in the dim house to the kitchen and pulling out a bottle of wine and glasses, meeting Louis in the sitting room.  
Louis chuckled, leaning back on the couch, rolling his head towards Harry as he poured. “I didn’t say suffering, we’ve just learned to never let an empty house go to waste, never ever pass up the ability to be loud.”

Harry bit back a laugh.  
“You’re gonna make me sick with this.” Louis said taking the glass anyway.  
“Are things really different?” Harry asked, swirling the wine for something to do.  
“Of course they are.” Louis said. “We’re parents, we’ve come out, we’ve grown, we’ve fucked up and we’ve fixed it, we’ve fought and we’ve made up. Every day is different than the last.”  
Harry nodded. “I just worry I guess that -”  
“Our feelings will change?” Louis guessed. “I can’t speak for you with surety but you still take my breath away every day, a touch still sends live wires under my skin. I love you as much today as I did at eighteen and I will for the rest of my life.”  
“I can say with surety that I’m going to love you until the day I die.”  
Louis hid his smile in his wine. “God so morbid we are.”  
Harry chuckled, eyes roaming Louis’ profile, his hair ruffled from the back of the couch, the strong line of his jaw and the stubble dusting it, the laugh lines developing by his eyes.  
His stomach swooped. “Do you think future me would be pissed if I kissed you right now?”  
Louis’ lips twitched up as he thought. “Well” he said after a moment. “Your future you is my present you and is the same you as you are -which is past you right now- and you were always horribly possessive, you still are actually, but technically you’d be kissing me present future and past.”  
“So...yes?” Harry said the wine making his head heavy.  
“Of course we could think in multiple universe theory and say multiple versions of us at this exact moment are kissing so in that theory past us could be kissing as well as future- my future mind you- is kissing-”  
Harry cut him off with a kiss.  
Louis laughed and wound a hand into Harry’s hair, deepening the kiss and pulling Harry down to lay on the couch, hover over him, slot between his legs.  
“That was the first kiss for some version of us.” he said softly tracing over Harry’s lips.  
Harry dipped back down, going this long without kissing Louis while he was a hand away had been killing him.  
“Every kiss is a first kiss?”  
“Not all of them obviously, but some of them, some are ‘I forgive you’ or maybe a ‘thanks for grabbing milk’ kisses.”  
“You’re such a weird drunk.” Harry said punctuating every word with a kiss.  
“You’re a weird sober.” Louis retorted.  
Harry laughed and dipped back down, surprising him and stealing his breath.  
They kissed slowly, retracing every inch until Harry’s phone buzzed in his pocket making Louis squirm away.  
“What the fuck.” he laughed, breathless as Harry sat up and dug it out of his pocket.  
“It’s a reminder to tell you something.” he said, sending it away and setting his phone on the coffee table.  
“Tell me what?” Louis asked sitting up.  
“Dunno, doesn’t say just says ‘tell Lou’.”  
Louis hummed, standing and holding out a hand for Harry. “Weird we don’t keep secrets.”  
“Obviously it’s meant to be a surprise.” Harry said wrapping an arm around Louis’ waist as they climbed the stairs.

~~~

  
Harry woke to an empty bed, he lay still blinking at the ceiling, the ache he usually had after drinking, the throbbing in his temple was noticeably absent as he rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of shorts, padding down stairs, blinking at the brightness.  
“Been up long?” Harry asked around a yawn spotting Louis at the island with his laptop.  
“A bit.” Louis said stiffly, not pausing his typing.  
Harry hummed, filling a glass from the tap. “How’s your head?”  
Louis glanced up, fingers froze on the keyboard. “What?”  
“You had a lot to drink.” Harry chuckled. “I figured you’d need-”  
“I didn’t drink anything last night.”  
Harry finished the water, setting the glass down. “We had half a bottle of wine and that was after you had how many at the party.”  
Louis frowned, shutting his laptop with a snap and standing. “What are you talking about, H? There was no party last night.”  
Harry frowned, glancing around the kitchen and out the window above the sink, the pool glinting in the sunlight.

“This is L.A.” he breathed.  
Louis cupped his face, face pinched with worry. “Seriously are you okay? You’re scaring me.”  
The realization crashed down on Harry a single wave. “Oh god we fought last night, I was such a dick.”  
“Yeah, you were” Louis said dropping his hand, the worry in his eyes being overtaken by hurt. “You know I never- You know how much I hate fighting with you about work.”  
Harry’s heart shattered at the pain in Louis voice, self loathing settling thickly on his skin knowing he had been the cause. “I know, Lou, god, I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse for last night, none. I’m a shit person and an even worse boyfriend.  
“I’m supposed to the person you come to, fuck, I’m supposed to protect you and I did the opposite.”  
“I don’t need you to-” Louis stepped back.  
Harry caught his wrist, taking it as a good sign that he wasn’t immediately thrown off. ”I know you don’t need or want me to protect you, _I know_ , but Lou seeing you hurt kills me and I get so angry because I can’t stop it and... I let myself get angry and picked a fight and I never should have done that, I hurt you.”  
Louis stepped closer, “Yeah you did.” he said softly. “I hate feeling like you’re not in my corner.”  
“I’m always in your corner, I always will be.” Harry said, hand falling to rest on Louis’ hip.  
Louis rolled his eyes and stepped closer with a huff. “I know, but I hate feeling like you’re not.”  
“I know.” Harry said, tipping his forehead to touch Louis’. “I’m so sorry I made you feel that way, there was no excuse, I’m not saying you have to forgive me right now, just know I’m sorry...I’ll fuck off somewhere if you want.”  
Louis smiled softly, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist. “No, I need you here with me.”  
Harry wrapped his arms around him, tucking his face into his neck pressing his lips to his pulse point, eyes welling up as they fit together.  
“You don’t deserve any of this, I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it.”  
Louis squeezed his waist, speaking into his shoulder. “We’re not going to do that, not again, neither of us are at fault.”  
Harry sniffed and tightened his arms, pressing his lips to Louis neck before he leaned away, trusting Harry to hold his weight as he drug his thumb across the tear track on Harry’s cheek.  
“I love you and I forgive you, next time talk to me though, yeah? You don’t have to always be so stoic.”  
“Maybe I should join you and talk to somebody.” Harry said chuckling thickly.  
Louis smiled softly, pinching Harry’s side. “It does help.”  
Harry laughed, pulling Louis close again, rocking them. Louis hummed and hooked his thumbs in the back of Harry’s shorts.  
“I love you with every fiber of my being.”  
“I’ll love you until my dying breath.” Louis murmured, lips brushing Harry’s jaw. “Which might be soon if you don’t ease up, love I can’t breathe.”  
Harry’s grip slackened and he leaned back to look at Louis, brushing his fringe off his face and tracing his cheekbone before meeting him halfway for a chaste kiss, followed by another and one more for good measure.

“So what was up with you this morning?” Louis asked as they settled in with breakfast.  
Harry swallowed his tea, “I guess it was a dream but, like really fucking vivid?”  
Louis hummed, popping a piece of melon in his mouth, fluttering his eyelashes. “Was I in it and was it good? If it wasn’t- lie.”  
Harry smirked, setting down his teacup, watching Louis, break off a piece of bacon and slip it under the table followed by the distinct thump of a tail, his eyes sparkling as he caught Harry watching him biting his lip to hold back a smile, Harry’s stomach flipped thinking of twins with his blue eyes and mischief, dream or not Harry felt warm for the first time in month at the prospect of the soft epilogue that awaited them.  
“It was the best.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this bit originally was like... half a paragraph long i intended to add at the end of the first chapter but decided not to ...rip but I've managed to flesh it out a bit, i think, so I don't feel weird posting it as a second chapter/part lol.  
> unbeta'd as usual  
> also this is totally optional it doesn't effect the first part or main story and that being said..  
> i hope you enjoy!

Louis woke to an empty bed, his head throbbing in sync with his heart. He groaned rolling away from the light of the window, vaguely aware of the shower shutting off. A shower sounded nice, if only he wouldn’t have to move.  
“Feel alright?” Harry chuckled from across the room.  
“I hate you.” Louis murmured. ”And wine.”  
“What did you drink last night?”  
“I dunno something mixed.”  
“You know you can’t mix, Lou, come now.” Harry chided.  
Louis sat up throwing his pillow in the direction of Harry’s voice. “You gave me the wine you’re not allowed to gloat.”  
“I didn’t give you anything.”  
Louis cracked open his eyes to glare at him from where he stood by their dresser naked save a pair of boxers and the towel he was using to dry his hair.  
“Yeah? You had some too we talked on the couch if you can’t remember and aren’t in pain I hate you even more.”  
“Babe, no, I slept in the guest room remember? You went to the Christmas party alone ‘cause I wasn’t feeling well... are you okay?”  
“No way…” Louis whispered clambering to his feet he met Harry in the middle of the room and grabbing the hand that was toweling his hair and pulled it away the long damp curls fell to his shoulders.  
Louis turned his arm over, seeking out the stick figures on his forearm and the numbers on his wrist.  
“You’re back.” he murmured, fingers tapping on the birth dates tattooed on his shoulder.  
Harry tilted his chin up gently. “Lou you’re scaring me, are you okay?”  
“I’m fine.” Louis said wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and dropping his face into the crook of Harry’s neck, while his arms wrapped around him, holding him close. “I’m great.”

~~~

“So a younger me was here for _days_?” Harry said as they walked to the car, pausing to wave to Gemma from her car. She’d arranged to meet them from brunch as an early birthday present for Louis before they picked up the kids. “What did you tell the kids?”  
Louis rolled his eyes as he climbed in the car. “I told you, I told them you wanted a change, they’re four Harry.”  
“That worked for Sebby?” Harry said doubtfully as he twisted to back out.  
Louis shrugged, messing with the radio. “Obviously she’s more perceptive, but I think she realized how freaked out we were and didn’t want to add to it, she was oddly patient.”  
Harry smiled and entwined their hands over the console. “That’s our girl.”  
Louis smiled out the window. “Yeah.”  
“So how was younger me?” Harry asked after a bit of silence.  
Louis frowned. “What do you mean?”  
Harry waved his hand vaguely.  
“We didn’t fuck if that’s what you're asking, Jesus Harry.”  
Harry shrugged with a smirk. “Just curious.”  
“You’re awful why did I marry you.”  
“‘Cause you love me.” Harry sang.  
“Debatable at the current moment.” Louis said fighting a smile. “Here I was thinking you’d be jealous.”  
“You didn’t do anything so..”  
“We kissed.”  
Harry’s jaw twitched. “Where?”  
“The couch, just lips..” Louis said innocently. “You’re jealous of yourself this is amazing.”  
“I didn’t say I was jealous.”  
“The tick in your jaw says otherwise. You’re genuinely jealous of yourself.”  
Harry made a face at him at a stop light.  
Louis laughed softly, leaning over to tuck hair behind his ear a leaving a lingering kiss on his cheek. “For what it’s worth, you’re a better kisser now.”  
Harry fought to keep his face straight as he pulled onto his mother’s street. “Yeah?”  
Louis hummed in agreement. “Might have had something to do with the half bottle of wine but -details.”  
“That’ll do.” Harry sighed.  
Louis snorted. “Oh hey, what did you need to tell me?”  
“About what?” Harry asked parking behind his mother’s car.  
“Younger you said something about getting a reminder to tell me something.”  
Harry paused a beat too long. “There’s no reminder on my phone.”  
Louis turned in his seat. “Why are you lying?”  
“I’m not lying.” Harry said, taking the keys out of the engine and fiddling with his seat belt.  
“Since when do we hide things from each other?”  
“Lou.” Harry groaned, unbuckling his seat belt. “It’s nothing, okay?”  
Louis unbuckled his seat belt and opened the car door, slipping out and around to Harry’s side, crossing his arms as Harry shut the door.  
“It’s obviously something if you’re keen to keep it from me.”  
Harry frowned at him, shivering as a gust of wind cut through his open coat. “Why aren’t you trusting me?”  
“Why are you assuming I don’t?”  
“What is it that you think I’m hiding?” Harry asked stepping back.  
“I don’t know.” Louis said, his arms dropping to the sides. “That’s what upsets me.”  
Harry searched his face. “You really are doubting me.”  
“You’re not exactly offering up information are you?” Louis snapped walking away.  
Harry caught after a few steps, gripping Louis’ biceps. “The reminder is old, okay? I have something planned. It’s nothing bad you just- you have to trust me, okay?”  
“I do trust you.” Louis sighed.  
“It’s nothing bad I promise you, it -it’s a surprise.”  
“That makes me nervous.” Louis said leaning in for a quick kiss.  
“You and me both.”

  
~~~

Liam and Niall arrived at the same time, Ariel cradled the gift bag on her lap from her seat in Niall’s arms.  
“Happy birth uncle Woo.” Ariel giggled the moment she saw Louis.  
“Why thank you!” he said taking the gift out her arms and handing it to Liam before scooping her out of Niall’s arms. “I think this is the best present I’ve ever gotten.”  
She squealed with laughter as he carried her through to the kitchen, hearing the door snick shut as Liam and Niall followed.  
“Hazza look at what Niall got me.”  
Harry turned from arranging fruit faces for the twins. “Oh that’s very original, I dunno how I’ll beat an Ariel.”  
“Oh! you’re back?” Liam asked stepping around Louis to hug him.  
Harry shrugged as they broke apart. “Apparently so, though I never left.”  
“So weird.” Liam said stealing a grape off one of the plates and helping himself to a beer.  
“Hey Niall what does she run on?”  
“Apple juice and cookies.” Niall said coming to stand next to Louis, grabbing one of her feet to take off her shoes.  
“Daddy!” she giggled. “Don’t give me ‘way.”  
Niall held open his arms as she reached for him. “I’d never give you away silly thing.” he kissed her nose. “Give Woo a good kiss.”  
She leaned over and licked Louis cheek. “Happy birth Woo.”  
“Thank you darling.” Louis laughed. “The twins are in their room probably doing something naughty if you wanna join.”  
“May I Da?”  
“You may.” Niall grinned, setting her on her feet.  
“Be careful on the stairs.” three voices called after her as she ran.  
Liam looked between them with a sigh, finishing his beer. “When did I become the token single?”  
“Well.” Louis said thoughtfully, sitting at the counter. “Harry and I have been together how long so-”  
“Don’t listen to him, Li, he’s just bitter he’s old.” Harry said pulling a dish of dip out of the oven and setting it on the counter.  
“First; it’s not even my birthday yet and second aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”  
Harry picked up the fruit plates, pausing as he passed to give Louis quick kiss. “I’m always on your side.”  
“Token single.” Liam said cracking open another beer while Niall snickered. “Like you’re better.”  
Niall held up his hand in surrender. “The girl in me life painted the mirror with toothpaste while I made her lunch, no time to be single.”  
“You two could go out sometime, Haz and I would be happy to watch her.” Louis shrugged taking a spoon to the dip.  
“Oh speaking of which.” Liam said pulling an envelope out of his back pocket. “Happy birthday.”  
Louis frowned and took the envelope. “I told you I didn’t want anything.”  
Liam rolled his eyes pulling a bag of chips out the cupboard and digging into it. “Open it old man.”  
Louis slit it open and pulled out the card.

_Happy birthday to my brother._ Louis eyes crinkled and he opened it. _“For you and H; One weekend without the kids.”_  
Liam shrugged when Louis smiled at him. “It’s not a hardship.”  
“Still,” Louis said standing and giving him a hug. “Thank you, we’ll use this wisely.”  
“Use what?” Harry asked returning from delivering the fruit plates, wrapping his arms around Louis and hooking his chin over his shoulder to read the card. “Ooh nice.”  
“Ari made you an ashtray I dunno why she’s never seen you smoke.” Niall said digging into the dip. “And I’m taking you out to lunch after the hols.”  
“Why are you all so nice to me.” Louis swooned taking the glass of wine Harry offered.  
“Harry threatened us.”  
“Now that I believe.” Louis laughed.  
Harry pouted. “Hey now.”

A while later Niall sat on the counter next to Louis as the four of them dug in a pint of ice cream. “You know what’s completely fucked-” he paused at the footsteps on the stairs.  
“Don’t worry I hear worse.” Sebby said giving Liam a hug on her way to the skin. “The twins and Ariel are asleep by the way.”  
Niall sighed, hopping off the counter. “Guess that’s my signal to head out, got a bit more wrapping to do anyway, no way she’ll let me get it done tomorrow.”  
“You can stay over.” Harry offered, quickly plaiting Sabine’s hair. “The guest room just needs a throw.”  
Niall gave him a one armed hug. “Nah, you two will have your hands full tomorrow with the little ones.”  
“It’s no bother.” Louis insisted as he moved from hugging Sabine to him.  
“It’s alright, Happy birthday we’ll call on Christmas.”  
Harry dropped his spoon into the sink, following Niall out of the kitchen. “I’ll help you get her out.”  
“Night dad, night uncle Li.”  
“Good night, my little star.” Louis said pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she passed.  
Liam watched him over the lip of the water Harry had insisted he drink before driving as he put away the ice cream, rising the dishes they’d dirtied and loading the dishwasher.  
“How are you?”  
Louis glanced up from where he was measuring soap. “Great now I've got him back…. Is that selfish?”  
“Nah, you have a life together Lou it’s reasonable.”  
“I just.” Louis paused, stowing the soap away. “I can’t help but wonder if I was responsible for it.”  
Liam drained his glass, filling it again. “That have something to do with you feeling out of balance?”  
Louis narrowed his eyes. “When did I tell you that?”  
“That night we crossed in New York, remember?”  
Of course Louis remembered spotting Liam as he snuck out of the airport, changing direction immediately having gone months without seeing him in the flesh intending to say a quick hello before tripping over to his hotel, their apartment in the city sold long ago and exchanged for a roomy cottage outside of the city, perfect for toddlers. He remembered Liam’s grin and hug that quickly turned into a pout as he read the delay for his flight, suggesting a place nearby for a drink.  
Vaguely remembered confessing four drinks in he worried they’d lost the balance between work and being together they’d perfected over the years, spending less than two days together now more often than they had while in the deepest part of their closeting. That there was a time limit and he was choosing his career over his family and how he was shit person for that.  
“I’ve never felt that way before,” Louis said with a sigh. “The idea of not having him after everything really put things in perspective.”  
Liam shrugged, setting his glass on the counter. “Maybe it was you, maybe it was him, does it matter? Does one of you need to feel responsible? It was a lesson for both of you.”  
“When did you get wise?” Louis asked hip checking him.  
Liam laughed walking towards the door. “Comes with being the token single.”  
“You’re sure you don’t want to stay?” Harry asked stepping inside and shrugging off his coat. “The guest room’s open.”  
“Nah.” Liam said buttoning his coat. “I’ve got to pack for the weekend with the fam. Are you guys driving tomorrow?”  
“Nope.” Harry popped, wrapping his arms around Louis and talking over his shoulder. “We’re staying in this year, going to Donny on Boxing day and then my mum’s house for New Years, no way Harrison would make it to drive in the middle of the day.”  
“His carsickness.” Louis explained at Liam’s quirked eyebrow as he tied his shoes. “Anything longer than twenty minutes and he’s ill, so it has to be at night while he sleeps.”  
“It’s easier to get them back to sleep anyway.” Harry added. “What’s the face?”  
Liam shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “You’re such parents, it’s ridiculous.”  
“Oh good.” Louis said hugging him again. “I was wondering why we didn’t change those people upstairs rent.”  
Liam laughed as Harry hugged him murmuring a drive safe.  
“Happy birthday Lou.” Liam said from his car, waving.  
“Have a good Christmas Payno,” Louis waved, watching until he’d backed down the drive. “Move H it’s fucking freezing.”  
Harry stayed in the doorway, eyebrows raised.  
“Harry seriously I’m freezing.”  
Harry smirked and dropped a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love you.”  
Louis smiled into the kiss. “I love you too, but you could have said that in the comfort of our heated home.”  
“True.” Harry drawled. “But I wouldn’t have reason to do this.”  
He gripped Louis’ thighs, hauling him up and against himself, stepping into the house.  
“You’re going to hurt your back again.” Louis said clinging to him as he made his way up the stairs.  
“You’re not heavy.” Harry said wearily. “And I spent a good two months throwing hay bales around.”  
“That’s right oh wise master _swordsman_.” Louis giggled, the video Harry and sent of him tripping in the first weeks of his training coming to mind.  
Harry set him down on the top of the stairs, nipping his shoulder. “You weren’t laughing when you came to visit.”  
“Obviously not.” Louis rolled his eyes walking towards the twins room. “You’re like, hot.”  
“Like hot?” Harry asked hooking his finger in Louis’ belt loop and tugging him closer.  
Louis rolled his eyes again, pinching Harry’s hip. “You know you’re hot.”  
“Not as hot as you.” Harry sighed following him. 

 

Louis woke to teeth sinking into his thigh.  
_“Fuck._ ” he hissed, hands scrabbling under the sheets to tangle in Harry’s hair.  
Harry crawled up hair tickling his torso, lips brushing his neck. “You have to be quiet.”  
“You could give me a little warning.” Louis grumbled, despite the flush rising on his chest.  
Harry sank back under the sheet with a smirk.  
“Shit Harry.” Louis said before throwing an arm over his mouth.

Harry pried Louis’ arm away from his face, soothing the intentions from him biting his bicep to keep quiet with gentle kisses.  
“You want me dead.” Louis whispered roughly, pulling him into a kiss and tasting himself.  
Harry smiled, breaking the kiss and brushing sweaty hair away from his face. “Happy birthday.”  
Louis watched as he untangled himself from the sheets and tripped over to the dresser, he groaned into the pillow as Harry stripped out of his wet boxers with a wink and into fresh pair.  
“The kids are gonna make you breakfast.” he said coming to sit on the edge of the bed shaking out his hair and tugging on a threadbare shirt. “So you can sleep a bit longer.”  
“I love you.” Louis said the tug of sleep already pulling him under again.  
“Love you too, sleep now.”

Louis was dozing when the twins crept in, shushing each other loudly.  
“You two really have no concept of quiet do you?” he heard Sabine sigh.  
“It’s okay I’m awake.” Louis said sitting up with a chuckle.  
“Happy birthday daddy we made eggs!” Stevie said bouncing up and down.  
“Eggs? Oh my goodness!” Louis said scooping her up and into his lap. “What kind?”  
“That’s music note.” Harrison supplied, picking at the sticky notes that littered Louis bedside table.  
“It is music, very good.” Louis said holding Stevie as he climbed out of bed, settling her on his hip. “Stevie what kind of eggs?”  
“Scramble.” she nodded, patting at his hair. “I stirred.”  
“Impressive, you’re very good at stirring.” Louis praised, kissing Sabine on the forehead as they filed out of the bedroom. “H what did you do?”  
“Fruits! melon is slippery.”  
Louis chuckled, watching Sabine help him down the stairs. “Melon is very slippery, you have to be very good at cutting to help with that.”  
“Yeah.” Harrison sighed, waiting for Stevie to be set at the foot of the stairs to run into the kitchen.  
“Happy Birthday dad.” Sabine said wrapping her arms around him and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek as Harry’s voice sifted out and into the hall.  
“Thank you beautiful.”  
The twins tumbled back out. “Close your eyes!”  
“But how will I see?”  
“ _Daddy_.”  
“Alright, alright.” Louis closed his eyes and held to a hand to each of them, letting them lead him into the kitchen, he didn’t startle at the hands appearing on his waist and leading him to a stool, nor at the lips on his jaw.  
“Ready?” Harry asked the room, chest rumbling from where it was pressed against Louis's back. “Okay open.”  
Louis bit the inside of his cheek at the plates full of crepes, fruit and bacon spread across the counter. “This is amazing! you’ve done too much.”  
“Never.” Harry murmured before stepping away from him to help Stevie.

“These are incredible.” Louis said on his fourth crepe. “Like seriously the best I’ve ever had.”  
Harry nodded behind his coffee mug. “Sebby made them.”  
“Really?” Louis turned towards her. “You’ve gotten so good, love.”  
She flushed and shrugged hiding behind her curtain of hair. “They’re not hard.”  
“Still.” Louis said poking her cheek where he knew a dimple hid. “Thank you, best birthday breakfast ever.”  
“If you’re done I need everyone to leave.”  
Harry hummed, rinsing his cup rounding the counter and flipping the twins over his shoulders. “That’s right, c’mon monsters, c’mon Lou, Sebby’s making your cake.”  
“Crepes and a cake? She’s going to be leaving us for culinary school by next week.” Louis wrapped her in a bearhug, lifting her off the floor.  
“Dad.” she whined.  
“Our oldest, leaving so soon to take over the industry.” Louis continued, releasing her. “She’s going to revolutionize cooking, a household name by fifteen, racking up deals and books, she’ll surpass us by eighteen.”  
“Dad!” Sabine giggled pushing him out the door and into Harry. “Take him, please.”  
“Our baby.” Louis gasped, clutching at Harry’s shirt. “She’s leaving us H, We’ll have an empty nest!”  
“She’s thirteen and the twins are four.” Harry frowned. “Let me know if you need help.”  
Sabine nodded closing the door with a smile.  
“God.” Louis said releasing his grip on Harry and smoothing out his shirt. “It doesn’t feel like they’re four, seems like yesterday we were getting up every two hours to their cries, rocking and feeding.”  
“Yeah.” Harry murmured, hands finding Louis’ waist. “I miss it.”  
“Me too.” Louis sighed, pulling on a loose string from Harry’s shirt, mind going to last year and the disappointed phone calls and doctors visits, startling out the memories at the twins squeals. “Maybe the universe thinks we have our hands full.”  
Harry looked torn. “I should-”  
Harrison cut him off running into the backs of his legs and wedging himself between them. “Stevie hit me.”  
“Stevie.” Harry chided following her giggles with a sigh as Louis picked up Harrison, smoothing down his hair.

The rest of the day was spent fielding calls and Skype sessions with various family and friends, being the first year they stayed home for Christmas.  
Dinner was loud with the twins getting more and more excited the nearer it got to bedtime, discussing in depth how Santa would come.  
“Penny for your thoughts?” Harry asked wrapping him from behind after dinner.  
Louis shrugged, watching the twins play on the carpet in the front of the tree, swallowing around the lump in his throat, his chest aching.  
“I love you.” Harry murmured, reading his mood, probably his mind too and pressing his lips to his temple.  
Louis leaned into Harry. “You too”  
Stevie rolled over to them, frowning. “Daddy sad?”  
“A little bit, my lovely.”  
She scrunched up her nose and stood holding her arms. “Hugs make you happy.”  
Louis chuckled, squatting down to her height and wrapping his arms around her. “Your hugs could make anybody happy.”

Louis jerked awake at a cold hand on his shoulder. “Are you awake?”  
“What’s wrong?” he slurred sleepily, turning towards Harry automatically. “Kids okay?”  
“Yeah.” Harry whispered, brushing his hair off his face.  
“You okay?”  
“Yeah, just can’t sleep.”  
Louis forced his eyes open at the waver in Harry’s voice. “Baby it’s four in the morning, what’s wrong?”  
“Nothing’s wrong.” Harry huffed. “I just can’t stop thinking about our conversation earlier.”  
Louis paused, his sleep addled brain churning slowly. “The one about how sharp candy canes can get?”  
“No.” Harry coughed on a laugh. “About missing having a baby around.”  
Louis blinked as the words processed. “Babe don’t take this the wrong way but this really can’t wait a few more hours?”  
“Probably could.” Harry shrugged forgetting he’d tied it up before bed and trying to run a hand through his hair, he huffed and gnawed on his bottom lip.  
Louis rubbed his face and sat up, turning on his bedside lamp. “Why can’t you stop thinking about it?”  
“Because.” Harry said, biting his bottom lip hard enough to leech the color from it he reached into his bedside drawer and pulled out two envelopes, one red and the other cream colored. “You asked me what I was hiding and I asked you to trust me.”  
“I do trust you.” Louis said softly.  
Harry’s lips flickered up into a smile and he handed Louis the cream envelope, nodding for him to open it. “I know we decided last year it just wasn’t meant to be but I wasn’t convinced it wasn’t me that was the problem so I had tests run.”  
Louis paused looking up at him, he knew Harry had taken it to heart when the attempts at surrogacy using his DNA failed. They'd both had wondered, he knew, but the idea of voicing that Harry might not be able to contribute to their family in a way he longed to scared him.    
“Wasn’t me.” he said tearing his eyes away from Louis’ hands to meet his eyes briefly.  
Louis nodded and finished opening the envelope, frowning he pulled out the slips that sat inside, holding them towards the light turning them over in his hands. He gasped when he realized what he was looking at.  
“Harry.” he whispered, voice cracking.  
“I know how disappointed you were - we were- when we decided to stop trying.” he caught his hands shaking and clenched them into fists. “So after the tests I called Stephanie and asked if she was willing to give it one more go.”  
“Harry.” Louis whispered again at the mention of the twins surrogate, wrenching his eyes up from the pictures, Harry’s face was pale and he was biting his bottom lips so hard Louis worried he’d draw blood.  
“She agreed.” he continued, voice shaking decidedly not looking at Louis. “And that day I missed lunch with Lottie? I went to the clinic.”  
“You told Lottie you had a stomach bug.” Louis blurted.  
That got a choked laugh from Harry. “I couldn’t exactly tell her I couldn’t make lunch because I had to go have a lonely wank in a sterile room could I?”  
Louis chuckled, eyes flickering down to the pictures, he traced over the grainy black and white image. “How - how far ..”  
“Due in April.” Harry whispered.  
“Wow.” Louis murmured, emotions swirling, he let out a long breathe. “That’s...wow.”  
“I didn’t say anything at first because I didn’t know if you- I didn’t know if we could have handled being disappointed again.”  
“And the rest of the time?” Louis asked more sharply than he intended.  
He wasn’t angry- he didn’t think, not really, while the idea he’d made a decision like this without him cut through him it didn't stem from malice, he hadn't done anything horribly wrong, they had both longed for and wanted another child years after the twins were born and the idea of Harry walking around with the worry alone made his chest ache more.

They’d been a force with the twins, leaning on each other, voicing their worries and reassuring, together, always together.  
“She was high risk for a long time.” Harry said softly. “I didn’t want- I was scared I’d jinx it or something, I don’t know, then I was scared I’d waited too long...  
I should have told you point blank. There’s no excuse for keeping it from you this long other than I’m cowardly and a shit person.”  
Louis hummed looking at the pictures.  
“How upset are you?”  
Louis met his eyes. “This is a lot at four in the morning Harry.”   
Harry nodded.  
“I’m still working through it but I’m upset.” Louis said flatly. “I’m upset you didn’t tell me for months - Christ H- I’m upset I wasn’t apart of something I desperately wanted- you weren’t the only one heartbroken when we decided to stop trying you know?  
But….I think I understand where you were coming from, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done it if I were in the position..I probably would have actually you know how long we waited to tell anybody about the twins and that isn’t cowardly, I don’t think, You weren’t being selfish.”  
He saw Harry's hesitant nod out of the corner of his eye.  
“So I understand that I just- I’m having trouble with...it feels like you were lying and I hate that feeling because I trust you with my life but, Harry, you kept a baby from me.” his voice cracked.   
“ ‘M a coward.” Harry said softly. “I was scared you wouldn’t want this anymore, that I’d gone and cocked it all up.”  
“I don’t think that’s cowardly, I think it’s human and I think that’s you and you should have talked to me but  it’s on me too, I shut down the conversation so many times because I didn't want to long for something when we have three beautiful kids.”  
Harry nodded. “I’m so sorry, every day I didn’t tell you killed me but I was just so scared.”  
“Hey.” Louis said tilting his chin up to meet his eyes. “I’m upset but I love you, if anything the other day taught me is that won’t change.”  
Harry nodded, kissing his hand and rolling his eyes as tears made their way down his cheeks, Louis brought their lips together and settled with their shoulders brushing before turning back to the sonogram pictures.  
“God.” he breathed, a wave of emotion hitting him as he looked over them again. “We’re having a baby.”  
“Yeah.” Harry murmured into his shoulder, Louis could feel his smile press against his skin.  
“There’s so much to do.” he murmured, “We have to set up a nursery and get stuff, God babies take so much stuff, why do they take so much stuff? and we donated everything from the twins, we have to decide if we’re going to keep it secret or put out a statement, we have to tell everyone- oh my God the kids how will the twins handle it? Sebby?”  
“The twins take after you so they’ll be fine.” Harry reasoned. “Sebby loves being an older sister so I think she’ll be okay, I do want to make sure we spend more time with her, we’ve been so busy the last few months.”  
Louis felt something click into place, the tightness in his chest, that uncertainty he’d had since Harry had woken him dissipated, his lungs expanded and his heart filled with love for the man he’d grown up with, that he’d gotten to call his since they were teenagers, the man he knew better than he knew himself.  
He wasn’t without faults, but neither of them were as they tried to figure things out, built the wonderful life they had only dreamed of years ago.  
“I love you.”  
“Love you too.” Harry murmured, pressing his lips to Louis’ hair.  
Louis poked his cheek, slow smile spreading across his face. “Baby is gonna have dimples like their papa.”  
Harry smiled pressing a kiss to the corner of Louis’ mouth and nuzzling into his shoulder, he picked up the red envelope and handed it to Louis. “She found out the gender last week, she called as your plane was taking off to give me an update on her appointment and I almost called you and told you then but-”  
“If you had told me this as I was leaving for the other side of an ocean for a week on work I probably would have had your balls put in a jar.” Louis said turning the envelope over in his hands.  
“I’m sorry I waited.”  
Louis tipped his forehead into Harry’s. “It’s the past, let’s focus on now.”  
Harry nodded, pressing another _I love you_ into Louis’ shoulder.  
“Do you know?” he asked holding up the envelope.  
Harry shook his head. “Silly all things considered but I wanted to keep it for you.”  
“You have no idea?” Louis asked with a smile and a quirked eyebrow.  
“No.” he laughed. “I have no idea.”  
“I should look and not tell you.” Louis teased, peeling open the envelope.  
Harry shrugged. “Would serve me right.”  
Louis slipped his hand in and pulled out a single picture, another blurry black and white sonogram snap, written underneath. _“Congrats on your baby girl, growing healthy! xx.”_  
“A girl.” Harry whispered. “We’re having a girl.”  
“Seems we’re not meant to have many men in the family.”  
Harry laughed, wrapping his arms around Louis and pulling him down and kissing him.  
“She’s going to be a beautiful as her papa.” he said softly brushing some of the hair that had come out of Harry’s bun back.  
“As long as she’s as wonderful as her dad.” Harry whispered, kissing along the line of his collarbones.  
Louis hummed. “The kids won’t be awake for a bit longer...you know what we should do?”  
Harry bit his lip, ducking down to kiss him again. “We should try and get more sleep?”  
“God yes, you read my mind.” Louis laughed sitting up to turn off the bedside light, looking at the pictures one more time, biting back a smile.  
Harry hooked his chin over his shoulder. “Happy Christmas.”  
Louis kissed the tip of his nose, heart bursting as he thought about the three kids down the hall, how soon there’d be a new little one watching with bright curious eyes, how he had all of that and the love of his life by his side; _not at all a bad start to another year_   he thought as he shut off the light and kissed Harry again, stealing his breath.  
“Definitely one of the best.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://therosiestofdaggers.tumblr.com/)


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